If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
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