ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
