Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
