How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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