that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
