So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
