Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
