I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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