no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
