I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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