I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
