I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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