Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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