Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
