Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I'm getting married
To pizza
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
