Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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