they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
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