I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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