Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
