this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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