is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Your cock deserves a montage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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