you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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