So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
