Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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