id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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