are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
