He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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