i just wanna soil my oats bro
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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