dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
