do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Everything about him screamed your future.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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