I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Randomize
