ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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