one two three fourrrrnication!
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
