YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
