You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
