either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
