From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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