yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
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If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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