she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
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