I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
And then the night went full on bisexual.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
