her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
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and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
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How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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