You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
