i was rollin on her like bob the builder
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
