I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
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