So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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