grandma shit on top of the toilet
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
