Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
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