Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
