i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Randomize
