if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize