PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
