If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
