i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I think i got beer on your cat.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
