Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
