I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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